Its a New Day

Michael Card is singing that song as I write this (well, at least he is on the CD - I'm not sure what Mike is actually doing right now) and as I've been listening to the words and thinking about a sermon from Phillipians a few weeks ago and reflecting on my life the last few weeks - I don't know how true that statement is for me. Paul said, while in prison awaiting possible execution, that to live was Christ and to die was gain.  As difficult as things were for Paul (and they were much worse than I could ever imagine) he still rejoiced in his God and Saviour whose grace was sufficent for him. The last 3 weeks or so have been bad.  I basically feel as bad as I did back in September, going home at least once if not twice a week with an unbearable migraine and missing or leaving worship on Sundays.  I feel like I'm at about an 8-9 all the time.  Right now, there is no joy in this journey. Those feelings of being forgotten and pain pound up to the surface so quic...

Way back in December (it feels like a lifetime ago) when we had the flood in the house, my sewing machines were wet.  The casing looked fine (they are made of plastic) but last Monday when I tried to use my good & trusty machine to alter some dresses, the motor gave a terrible groan and then gave up. Thankfully, both my machines were covered by insurance and on Friday I headed over to KW Sewing in Kitchener to find a new machine.  There were a few things that I wanted to have on the machine (like an automatic up/down button - so I don't have to turn the wheel by hand every time I stop the machine so that the thread will not unthread each time I start again) and a stitch in the ditch foot (which is a quilting foot). It was the first machine we looked at.  The Janome QDC 2030 which is special quilters machine that also comes with a needle threader (YEAH!!!) and a few fancy applique stitches (that I might ACTUALLY use) as well as an extending table and a...

This morning I had my last session at the Migraine Clinic.  28 weeks, 56 sessions, about 300 needles, 4480 km, and a whole lot of money later, I've decided to stop going. It may seem odd - since it seems to be helping, but there are a few reasons. 1. It is expensive.  I am getting help to pay for the sessions that I have had, but it is still very expensive, plus gas, milage and loss of sleep (though my hour nap was great!).  2. I was expecting about 15 weeks, that was the average the people were going and seeing results.  I know that things often take time and I can say that I have given it an honest try.  As it is, I went almost double the amount of time that I had originally planned and feel in some ways that it could still be a long process with not much different results.  The doc did suggest this morning that maybe I see if I can come every 3 weeks and see if that still helps.  He doesn't want me to 'regress' after so long.  I'll have t...

It seems hard to believe that I'm already at week 27 at the Ontario Migraine Clinic.  The time has gone by so fast and soooo slow.  Next week will be my last session.  It was a hard decision to come to but it is time. Usually things take a long time to start working and after some discussion with family and friends, 56 sessions is giving things a 'fair' shot.  While my migraines are far from gone, there has been great improvement.  1.From September to December I went home for sure once if not twice a week with a migraine and missed about 8 weeks of church.  From December to the present I have missed 1 Sunday and have only gone home 2 times.  That is a huge improvement!!! 2. My 'everyday' headache has gone from a consistant 8-10 (on a scale of 1-10) to now a 5-7.  This is also huge as I can function pretty well at a 7. 3. When I do get a migraine that puts me 'out of commission' it usually only lasts hours or days instead of days/weeks....

This is the second article in a series of Encouraging Within the Church.  Please ask for permission before reprinting.  Thank you. "Well, Marilla, I'll just tell you plain that I think you're doing a mighty foolish thing - a risky thing, that's what.  You don't know what you're getting.  You're bringing a strange child into your house and home and you don't know a single thing about him or what his disposition is like nor what sort of parent he had nor how he's likely to turn out.  Why, it was only last week I read in the paper about a man and his wife up west of the Island took a boy out of an orphan asylum and he set fire to the house at night - set it on purpose, Marilla, and nearly burnt them to a crisp in their beds.  And I know another case where an adopted boy used to suck the eggs - they couldn't break him of it.  If you had asked my advice in the matter - which you didn't do, Marilla - I'd have said for mercy's sake not ...

I have written a few articles about how to encourage different groups of people within our churches, those that seem to sometimes fall through the cracks.  This first one is on Infertility and the second is on Adoption.  I hope to have one in the fall on Children with Disabilities.  If you would like to send a copy of these to someone or would like to reprint these, please let ask for permission first.  Thank you. Birth announcements.  Baptisms. Nursery duty.  Baby showers. For a growing number of couples in our churches these normally joyous occasions are ones that are filled with heart break, grief and sorrow.  It isn't that they aren't thankful for the gift of children or that they don't rejoice with those who have children, but for them it is a reminder again of the longing that they have to have their own family and the heart break that comes along with infertility. The sad thing, is that often church is where they find their strug...

I haven't posted about it in a while (as it usually is the same thing every week) but I've still been going to the Migraine Clinic.  Yesterday we did a reassessment after another 10 weeks of sessions.  It was interesting. Basically an assessment is checking the pulses - not speed, but strength and flow (or something like that).  Dr. Cleary said I was 'slow' but that I haven't plateaued (which is good) and there is improvement.  We're going to go for another 8 weeks (that is 16 sessions) and see from there.  He wasn't sure if the tremors were part of the reason for the 'slowness' or not.  While I was waiting and doing my 'breathing' he sat down and asked me a bit more about my work and as we were talking he asked about catholics and jews and the difference between them and christianity.  We talked for a good 45 minutes.  He had been raised in the catholic church and was an alter boy till about 18 - but knew nothing of the bible (he asked m...

McDougall Cottage is a little place, here in Cambridge, where some of the original Scottish settler's settled.  There are all sorts of events there throughout the year and one that I try to participate in (at least the last 4 years) is the Wee Quilt Challenge. Quilters from all over Canada and even Scottland are given a theme to work ewith every for their quilts.  This year it was "Plaids at Play" and we were given a piece of 'olympic tartan'  that had to be incorporated into the quilt.  As usual, I had no idea what to do.  The themese are getting harder to do and my imagination seems to be getting smaller!  Finally, one evening, I was watching "Rob the Robot" with the kids and they were playing tic tac toe and I got an idea.  Why not do some sort of a game board! There was no way I was going to applique x's and o's on a board (anyone who knows me and quilting - knows applique and I don't get along) and then I remembered Cher...

Tristan and Hannah are now at the age where they are really able to 'do' things.  In the fall we went with Rebekah to the Toronto Zoo and when we were coming home we were talking about bowling.  We said that sometime after the babies were born we would go bowling.  Wouldn't you know it, as soon as the those babies were born, their first question was "When can we go bowling?" Last Saturday afternoon it worked for us to meet with Rebekah (Mebecca) and Jonathan (Johnny Rosco - we're not really sure where that name came from - Hannah decided one day that one of the babies should be called Johnny Rosco and whne I told her that Rebekah had a brother named Johnny - the Rosco just stuck). I made the mistake of telling them at breakfast that we would go later in the afternoon.  With no real concept of time, Hannah was so concerned that she was going to miss it, that she sat in front of the fire, claiming she was cold, and watched the clock for 3 hours till it was f...

In keeping with the theme of "remembering benefits" I was thinking of the house that we have been living in the last 2 1/2 months.  This house was empty the week before we needed to move in so we could move right in.  It was very clean and warm and there was lots of room.  Five bedrooms upstairs and a bathroom and the main floor has a mud/laundry room, kitchen, bathroom, dining room, living room with woodstove, big hallway another large room (we use it for storage and my sewing stuff) and lots of closets .   With 3 adults and 3 children, plus 2 babies on the way something with a lot of room was needed and this was perfect for us.  It was located just a 15 minute walk from Ryan's parents and a 5 minute drive from Karen.  There is a field in the back (winter wheat that Ryan planted) and a big yard in the front and back.  We were able to see lots of deer - sometimes up to 7 at one time - and hang homemade bird feeders so the kids could see all th...

Last night I had a long awaited phone call with a dear brother in Christ.  We had a long conversation about how things have been going at home and work and with everything going on physically and spiritually and I was encouraged to examine my own heart in all areas and see what changes I need to make.  Some points of the conversation were hard - the self examining ones that really cut to the heart, but isn't that the point of Proverbs 27:17 "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another"?  Being sharpened hurts - it makes me think of things that I don't want to - like my sin.  But without that cutting away we become dull and what good is a dull sword (or anything that is dull for that matter).  I have lots to think and pray about - with what to do with work, things at home and my involvement in church.  Thinking of how to make sure that I'm doing what I'm called to do and make sure that I don't take on what I can or shouldn't be...

Yesterday afternoon I got a call from my family doctor that my MRI results were normal. I wasn't really expecting anything different - the neurologist said that the MRI was really for my own peace of mind and he didn't think we'd find anything there (well... anything that wasn't supposed to be there). So now I have an appointment booked on March 12 to see my family doctor (she is on holidays till then) and we'll go from there. I don't have any plans to see the neurologist again till the 27th of March when I have my nerve test (to make sure that the nerves in my hand weren't affected - but again this was just for my own peace of mind) - unless he calls and says he needs to see me for something else. I'm not really sure about medications or what other steps, if there are any, we would do next. The right hand has pretty much stopped and my shoulder only goes when I'm nervous or my adrenalin gets going. The stuttering or speech delays are still persistan...

The weekend was a quiet one (well - as quiet as a house with 5 children under 5 can be). Saturday afternoon I spent working on the quilts for the boys (which is really taking a long time to get done but with shaking it goes slower) and then had a quiet night watching Strawberry Shortcake with the kids while R&R were at Ryan's work dinner. I'm still feeling discouraged, but not as much as last week. Yesterday was a day of impatience and crying at the drop of a hat but today seems to be a bit better.

This last week has been particulary difficult. Sunday evening my left shoulder started 'tremoring' (for lack of a better word) and with it comes even more tiredness and soreness than just a wrist or stutter. This unpleasant 'jerking' takes more energy and has just wiped me out - physically and mentally. Three weeks ago when the stutter started, I was noticing that I was having great difficulty being patient with anyone or anything. The galloping grumps (as we call them) were not just galloping but taking off on a jet plane. I find that it takes all my energy to give a short quick answer and not bite anyone's head off. So here's the question that I'm wrestling with. Is it a symptom along with the tremors and stutter or is it sin or a combination of both? It would be so nice (and much easier) to say it was just a symptom and to justify that I'm dealing with a lot physically and with interrupted sleep it is not easy on the best of days. But is that the trut...

Last Thursday Ryan and I had a birthday. At the office I recieved these lovely roses. On the Wednesday night a group of ladies from Riverside went out for dinner - and laughed. We had a great time. The rest of the week was quiet - and mostly spent snuggling babies. Things have been getting into a bit of a routine now with the new babies. The kids all want to hold the babies - "which one is this Aunt Jen?" is the most heard question. Tristan has it pretty much figured out and Hannah is trying very hard to remember - Julia just calls them babies and is happy with that. She needs to hold them for a second, but Julia (here with Anthony) is always trying to take the babies to carry them, or pat them on the back or give lots of smooches. She is very sweet and runs for their soosies if they start crying. Hannah (with Blake) is trying to remember that Blake is the bigger one - both with 'B'. As soon as they are awake Tristan wants to hold them too and is getting pretty good a...

Calvin James Louwerse February 14, 2012 8lbs 2.9 oz I got to go and visit this new little guy on Saturday morning. Congratulations to Derek & Kim. Two years ago we had 1 boy and 3 girls born and now in 4 days we have 3 boys - A, B & C (honestly this was not done on purpose).

The last few days my tremor has been much better - it was there most of Sunday but so far the rest of this week it has been ok (just when I realized I was losing weight from all the used up energy... maybe something else will start shaking soon to make up for it :)). The stutter is there a bit more, but I've been noticing some things about it. 1. If my 'stress' levels go up (for good or bad reasons) a stutter will soon follow. On Saturday, after Rachel's water broke, I couldn't get anything out. My poor dad hadn't heard about the stutter and was panicking a bit, telling me to sit down and calm down. Of course, it was adrenaline pumping that got it going. 2. If I'm nervous or anxious. Again, on Sunday I was ok and then I started talking to an elder at church (and wasn't in trouble or anything... really... I hadn't started laughing when talking with the ladies at this point) and it started. 3. Maybe it IS a different manifestation of my migraines. Last...

Anthony Cooper and Blake Hudson born Saturday, February 11, 2012 Blake (l) & Anthony (r) in the nursery Anthony (born first) weighed in at 6lbs 10 oz Blake weighed in at 8lbs 3oz Rachel and the boys are all doing well. Praise God from whom all blessing flow!!!

This morning, after breakfast, we were all sitting in the living room doing hair and talking when Hannah states "Mom, I think I like this house". We were talking about what the kids liked and the over all agreement was the fire place. Can we have one in our home was the common refrain. It is so cozy after school and in the evenings (and some mornings) to sit by the fire place enjoying the heat. This got me to thinking about some of the other nice things about this house. My 'sewing room'. This room is just off the kitchen and the only time it is used is when the kids go to get wood from the pile just outside the sliding doors from this room. It is also the storage area where all the extra diapers and boxes of things for the house are kept. Sally is lending me her sewing machine (and all that goes along with it) and the tables are from work. It is a great arrangement to have everything so convieniet and close. (The material on the ironing board and on the machine belon...

Julia (2) will run over to Rachel and lift her shirt, kiss her belly twice and say "You coming?" That's how we all feel. Impatiently waiting to meet and hold not only Rachel's 2 babies but also Kim's little one who is also due any day.