Its a New Day

Yesterday afternoon I got a call from my family doctor that my MRI results were normal. I wasn't really expecting anything different - the neurologist said that the MRI was really for my own peace of mind and he didn't think we'd find anything there (well... anything that wasn't supposed to be there). So now I have an appointment booked on March 12 to see my family doctor (she is on holidays till then) and we'll go from there. I don't have any plans to see the neurologist again till the 27th of March when I have my nerve test (to make sure that the nerves in my hand weren't affected - but again this was just for my own peace of mind) - unless he calls and says he needs to see me for something else. I'm not really sure about medications or what other steps, if there are any, we would do next. The right hand has pretty much stopped and my shoulder only goes when I'm nervous or my adrenalin gets going. The stuttering or speech delays are still persistan...

The weekend was a quiet one (well - as quiet as a house with 5 children under 5 can be). Saturday afternoon I spent working on the quilts for the boys (which is really taking a long time to get done but with shaking it goes slower) and then had a quiet night watching Strawberry Shortcake with the kids while R&R were at Ryan's work dinner. I'm still feeling discouraged, but not as much as last week. Yesterday was a day of impatience and crying at the drop of a hat but today seems to be a bit better.

This last week has been particulary difficult. Sunday evening my left shoulder started 'tremoring' (for lack of a better word) and with it comes even more tiredness and soreness than just a wrist or stutter. This unpleasant 'jerking' takes more energy and has just wiped me out - physically and mentally. Three weeks ago when the stutter started, I was noticing that I was having great difficulty being patient with anyone or anything. The galloping grumps (as we call them) were not just galloping but taking off on a jet plane. I find that it takes all my energy to give a short quick answer and not bite anyone's head off. So here's the question that I'm wrestling with. Is it a symptom along with the tremors and stutter or is it sin or a combination of both? It would be so nice (and much easier) to say it was just a symptom and to justify that I'm dealing with a lot physically and with interrupted sleep it is not easy on the best of days. But is that the trut...

Last Thursday Ryan and I had a birthday. At the office I recieved these lovely roses. On the Wednesday night a group of ladies from Riverside went out for dinner - and laughed. We had a great time. The rest of the week was quiet - and mostly spent snuggling babies. Things have been getting into a bit of a routine now with the new babies. The kids all want to hold the babies - "which one is this Aunt Jen?" is the most heard question. Tristan has it pretty much figured out and Hannah is trying very hard to remember - Julia just calls them babies and is happy with that. She needs to hold them for a second, but Julia (here with Anthony) is always trying to take the babies to carry them, or pat them on the back or give lots of smooches. She is very sweet and runs for their soosies if they start crying. Hannah (with Blake) is trying to remember that Blake is the bigger one - both with 'B'. As soon as they are awake Tristan wants to hold them too and is getting pretty good a...

Calvin James Louwerse February 14, 2012 8lbs 2.9 oz I got to go and visit this new little guy on Saturday morning. Congratulations to Derek & Kim. Two years ago we had 1 boy and 3 girls born and now in 4 days we have 3 boys - A, B & C (honestly this was not done on purpose).

The last few days my tremor has been much better - it was there most of Sunday but so far the rest of this week it has been ok (just when I realized I was losing weight from all the used up energy... maybe something else will start shaking soon to make up for it :)). The stutter is there a bit more, but I've been noticing some things about it. 1. If my 'stress' levels go up (for good or bad reasons) a stutter will soon follow. On Saturday, after Rachel's water broke, I couldn't get anything out. My poor dad hadn't heard about the stutter and was panicking a bit, telling me to sit down and calm down. Of course, it was adrenaline pumping that got it going. 2. If I'm nervous or anxious. Again, on Sunday I was ok and then I started talking to an elder at church (and wasn't in trouble or anything... really... I hadn't started laughing when talking with the ladies at this point) and it started. 3. Maybe it IS a different manifestation of my migraines. Last...

Anthony Cooper and Blake Hudson born Saturday, February 11, 2012 Blake (l) & Anthony (r) in the nursery Anthony (born first) weighed in at 6lbs 10 oz Blake weighed in at 8lbs 3oz Rachel and the boys are all doing well. Praise God from whom all blessing flow!!!

This morning, after breakfast, we were all sitting in the living room doing hair and talking when Hannah states "Mom, I think I like this house". We were talking about what the kids liked and the over all agreement was the fire place. Can we have one in our home was the common refrain. It is so cozy after school and in the evenings (and some mornings) to sit by the fire place enjoying the heat. This got me to thinking about some of the other nice things about this house. My 'sewing room'. This room is just off the kitchen and the only time it is used is when the kids go to get wood from the pile just outside the sliding doors from this room. It is also the storage area where all the extra diapers and boxes of things for the house are kept. Sally is lending me her sewing machine (and all that goes along with it) and the tables are from work. It is a great arrangement to have everything so convieniet and close. (The material on the ironing board and on the machine belon...

Julia (2) will run over to Rachel and lift her shirt, kiss her belly twice and say "You coming?" That's how we all feel. Impatiently waiting to meet and hold not only Rachel's 2 babies but also Kim's little one who is also due any day.

It really is little things that bring a smile these days. 1. Curtains. Yep - I did say little. We have curtains on the living room window now and it feels more like home. 2. Music. We discovered yesterday that I don't stammer when I sing, so this morning while waiting for the bus, Tristan, Hannah and I made up a song and sang it crazy loud: "Tristian is a hockey puck. We push him in the mud so he gets stuck. But we'll help him out because we love him. Hannah is a soccer ball, we laugh and push her while she falls. But we won't leave her there because we love her. Aunt Jen is a lovely girl, her hair is full of lots of curls. She is so nice and sweet and kind and we love her." 3. Snuggles. Julia isn't feeling very well right now and just snuggled all morning. Nothing like a snuggle to make you feel better. 4. Sunshine. This isn't often the case for me to like sunshine, I usually feel like a vampire wanting to hide in the dark, but the sunshine this morning w...

Today I'm so thankful for the friends that God has placed in my life. Dear Betty Ann - she is like a bulldog - very determined and able to eloquently speak on behalf of those who can't (right now literally) speak or aren't sure what to say. Last night, dear Betts called asking if she could talk to my neurologist today because she is being inundated with emails and calls from folks about getting me more/quicker help. So dear Betts, called Dr. S. this morning and had a long conversation and eased things up a bit. Dr. S. said that usually for an Essential Tremor an MRI is not indicated, but he is ordering one (mostly) because I also have migraines. It would not be helpful to go the States for an MRI sooner. Sure, they'll take my money and do it, but it won't be very helpful. Also, going to the ER before my MRI would not necessarily be helpful especially if I didn't get to see him (which he couldn't guarantee). The doc I see at the Migraine Clinic was sure that ...

Yesterday was a bad day - actually that is a bit of an understatement if you were in my office or talked to me on the phone. On Saturday morning I started to have a bit of trouble talking - nothing too bad, just a few words that were a bit difficult to get out. Sunday it was much worse and folks were getting concerned so I promised to call the neurologist on Monday morning. Monday morning I called a left a message, but I didn't hear back. So yesterday I called my family doctor. The stuttering was much worse and I wanted to know if it was something serious that I needed to go to emerg for or if it was just part of everything going on with the tremor. After talking with a few secretaries and a nurse, I was finally put through to my family doctor. She said that she had gotten a letter from the neurologist saying it was a benign tumor and that if anything changed I should try to get to see Dr. S. in the next couple of days or else go to Grand River where they could do an MRI faster. I ...