Its a New Day

This week we had 2 birthdays. Tuesday was mom's 55th birthday! And Wednesday was Analia's. She turned 2. She is quite the chatterbox and people often looked surprised at how well she speaks because she is a little squirt. She LOVES to snuggle - by FAR the most snuggly of all the kids. You can be sitting down and suddenly Analia has quietly crawled up into your lap and is sucking her thumb and twirlling material in her fingers. Very sweet.

Yesterday I received a letter in the mail that my MRI is booked for February 21, 2012 at 1:10 am. Yep - am. The tremor has been a bit less this week (though it started up again last night - obviously stress is a trigger for it) and because it has been less I was able to get a lot of hand written letters done. The last 2 weeks I have also been back to The Migraine Clinic. I should really see about sleeping there on the Wednesday nights as it is probably the best sleep I get all week - that little nap in between sessions. The room is toasty warm, it is a nice hard bed, a dark room and quiet :). Otherwise, nothing unusal has been going on there - just the same. I hope to be able to go and buy a bed frame this weekend. I was thinking originally that instead of buying a bed, setting it up and then having to take it apart and move it again in 3-6 months I would just sleep on a mattress on the floor - but my sleep has been terrible since being at the rental. True, it usually takes time to adj...

It is very interesting to listen to what the kids are saying and see what they are thinking about the whole move/baby situation. These are just a few of the things that have been heard lately: Friday the kids had a PD day and they were told the night before they were going to have a surprise. They were trying to guess what it was: T: Aunt Ben (yes... he is learning rhyming words and discovered that Ben rhyms with Jen so that is now my new name) is the sturprise that we are moving back to our house? I miss my bed. (a little heartbreaking to hear him say that). The next morning: T: Auntie Ben, I know!! Is the sturprise that mommy is going to have the babies today!!??!! On Thursdays when I get home from work, Hannah always says: "Aunt Jen. Sit down so I can check you head". She then proceeds to climb up my lap and grabbing my head in her hands checks the top of my head. After serious searching "Aunt Jen!!! I see some red - the doctor made you bleed today! Julia wants to ...

Today, for some reason, seems to be a difficult day. I feel on the verge of tears and frustration and would rather just curl back in bed than do anything else. It hasn't been a bad week - not fantastic but not bad. I was home sick Monday, had a 9-10 most nights -but 6-8's during the day so that's not too bad, and the tremor still continues. Not as constant but still there. I think that I'm just feeling frustrated because I have a hard time writing (and my job entails 95% of things to be handwritten) and because of that it takes me 10 times as long to do something as simple as address and envelope. (Times that by 3 per student and 8-10 students a day it takes all day to process a few lessons!) The thing that crosses my mind right now is haven't I learned to give up things and be patient? I already have stopped so much - doing anything at church, helping my friends/sisters as much as I'd like, playing music (though I suppose it helps that I don't even have a p...

Just when I thought things were 'normal' again, this week brought other things up. On Christmas day my right arm started shaking. At first I thought that it was the sign that I had a migrain coming (as my arm often starts to shake before the BIG ONE comes) but after an hour nothing happened. Just shaking. I talked to BA and she thought it might just be a pinched nerve so I didn't think anything else of it. Every other day for the next week it would shake. I went to the chiropractor and he agreed that it might be a pinched nerve and did an adjustment. The next week it was still shaking and more often. The chiropractor said that he noticed that my right hand was a different colour and colder than the left and said that it looked like my 1st rib was out of place and could be pushing on the nerve. He tried a different (and much more painful adjustment) and said he'd hoped he would have heard a pop, but nothing happened. I went in 3 more times and would get a few hours of re...

It seems that we are back in a 'normal' routine again. Saturday morning Hannah and I made the beds, cleaned the bathrooms, folded laundry, vacuumed and did the dishes. A couch was brought to the house (so now more than 2 people can sit comfortably in the living room) and another chair for the kitchen. Ryan was off for work at the crack of dawn. Lunches were made and the kids were off to school this morning. Julia waved sadly from the window as Rach finishes getting ready to go to her appointments this morning. Life continues to go on. And that is a really nice feeling.

Just a quick update on the goings on of this weekend. Saturday and Monday we spent some time at the house getting out clothing, blankets and bedding and photo albums. Monday night things were moved into a farm house a 5 minute walk from Ryan's parents and a 5 minute drive from Mike & Karen. It is a large house with 5 bedrooms upstairs (the kids were thrilled to show me their new rooms last night. T's is beside my room AND he has a door to the bathroom in his room and H&J have super soft red shag carpet) and an eat in kitchen, living room, dining room, laundry/mud room all on the main floor (with a second bath) and a sun room of sorts that we'll use for storage (strollers and things that take up lots of room). It was very clean (though we still wiped down the kitchen and bathrooms and vacuumed) and fresh. There is lots of big window so natural light is everywhere. There is a field around the house (that Ryan planted) so it will be fun to watch whatever grows there - ...

Friday morning I left work a bit early because I had a migraine. I had hoped to go home and have a sleep and then be able to work on the quilts that I had cut out for Rachel's twins later in the afternoon/evening. When I got out of my car I noticed that the steps from the garage to the house were wet and thought that was odd. When I opened the door, water poured into the garage. There was about 2-3 inches of water on the floor. It sounded like there was a waterfall somewhere in the house and as I looked into the kitchen, water was pouring (like a waterfall) from the ceiling and through the light fixtures. I raced upstairs to see water gushing like a geyser from the tube from behind the toilet. I managed to have the sense of mind to turn off the water valve to stop the water from flowing. I then threw down some towels and raced downstairs to call my brother in law, Mike. As I was talking to Karen on the phone I just kept thinking "the walls are peeing". The water wa...

Last Friday we opened gifts at R&R's with the kids. It was fun to see how excited they were about their new clothes and toys and books. Me with Tristan, Hannah and Julia Julia and her daddy - where she is happiest. Saturday afternoon we all went to Mike & Karen's. It was pretty busy but lots of fun. The (present) grandkids and opa When we were growing up and we would get together with my dad's family, there was always a picture taken with all the grandkids. It is fun to look back at those pictures and see the family grow and change. We thought we'd try this year... the funny thing is that we often had the same expressions as kids (crying, sad, happy, bored).

Sunday morning it was just one of those days that only lead to trouble... There really wasn't anything terribly funny about our conversation - truthfully I don't remember what we were even talking about - but suddenly Betty Ann had to sit down and Kelley and I had tears running down our faces. The three of us were standing (or at least trying to keep on our feet) laughing and crying and struggling to catch our breath. It was the kind of laughter that you feel like you could go for a good long nap afterwards. I am so glad to have friends that I can laugh like with.

Yesterday I had another 2 treatments. I was actually feeling pretty good when I started out (about a 7) and had the first treatment with no crying (amazing!!!). I went downstairs for my 'sleep' and then came back up for my second session. Dr. B asked if I'd had a good rest and I said "I didn't think I really slept, but when I looked at the clock it was already 8:30 so I guess I did sleep". He just smiled as he put in the needles for the 2nd treatment and said (very straight faced) "I could tell... you still have pillow marks on your face". Usually by the time I get back to the office after my second treatment I'm pretty worn out. I usually work with the lights off and just quietly go about my work (as if I ever make much noise in the office). Rudy and the little girls came by for a visit and I was being 'teased' about something when Hans said very gently, 'Rudy, take it easy on Jennifer - she had her treatments today and she doesn...

This morning I had my re-assessment at The Migraine Clinic. Basically Dr. B. took my pulse in a few different places before the treatment. Because I was having 2 in 1 day, he waited until after the 2nd treatment to finish the re-assessment. This week has been a particularily difficult one. It could be the ups and downs of the weather and/or the anxiety of getting calendars and envelopes and enrollment packs put together and out in the mail (the calendars came in this morning but I still don't have envelopes so I'm at a bit of in impass) so that they get to the prisons by christmas, or that I don't have my tongue sticking in my cheek at the right angle... whatever the reason it has been bad. So when Dr. B. asked me how bad I was this morning, it was all I could do to keep the tears at bay. (what is it about him that makes me cry?!?). I went in with a migraine. It was about a 8.5 (so I can still function) but it was getting worse. I was climbing to a 9.5 by the time my treatm...

Tomorrow is my Opa's 85th birthday, but on Saturday we got together as a family at the Mary Hill Inn (in Mary Hill) where my oma rented the place for the evening, and we had a surprise party for my opa. He walked in and was very surprised. He didn't really want to come out that evening because they had a seniors thing at the church, but since my Aunt Heather and Uncle Kevin were 'taking him out for his birthday' he decided to go. It was a really lovely evening. Heather arranged for each family to make up 2 scrapbook pages so that when friends came over they could 'show off' their family. During the meal mom, Aunt Heather, Uncle Michael, dad and most of the grandchildren went up and shared a memory of opa. It went from him working in his work shop to chasing after Uncle Michael with a homemade paddle while they were camping, to just sitting and watching a hockey game. There was also some time of singing and touching moments of remembering God's grace. I reali...

This morning I asked if Dr. B would do a re-assessment - just for my peace of mind to see if there was any change from his point of view. I'm not sure if I should be concerned or not but he said that as he was driving in this morning he was thinking about me and how I must be feeling like we're just going in circles with no real results. Well, we have to wait till after next week's first appointment and then he can do a re-assessment (something about having to wait a certain amount of treatment times) so we'll see next week what happens. The only strange dream I had this time was that people were sitting in the room where I was resting and complaining that if they went to Princess Margaret they get coffee & snacks and other free stuff while they have to wait and nicer chairs. I defended Judy (the secretary) and said it wasn't her job to provide coffee or anything else and that the chairs were comfy. Weird.

Why am I writing about my trips to the Migraine Clinic? As I get ready to report again that I went had the needles in, did my breathing, had the needles out, had a short nap, had the needles put back in, breathed again and had them out, and checked for drops of blood before leaving the office, and then about how I'm feeling after, I really hope that is doesn't sound like complaining. It would be untrue of me to say that things are getting easier as the weeks go by. Some days, well, honestly most days, they feel worse. Just when I think that it is as bad as it has ever been it gets worse. I still feel frustrated that after a treatment session I can be in bed for days at a time and feel that my head might explode any second. There are lots of tears. Lots and lots of them. I've missed going more to church in the last 3 months then I have in my entire life and even when I do make it I often have to leave early because though I was 'ok' 30 minutes ago, it has suddenly be...

While she may not have 'officially' celebrated her birthday (not for lack of trying) Julia turned 2 last Thursday. Julia is a real treasure! She is sweet and always has a ready smile. She loves to make people laugh and has a mischievious streak as well - all while being totally innocent :) She adores her big brother and loves nothing better than to rub the top of his head and just laugh. He is sweet enough to let her. She is a daddy's girl and loves to go to the farm with him, even when it is cold She loves her mommy as well and is always ready to give a smooch, well, after she says no of course. It is hard to believe that this little baby is now so big! and sooo vain (she loves to look at herself after a picture is taken) And so sweet! Happy birthday Julia-bear!

Last week flew by with a great flurry of sad, tender and happy moments. Tuesday evening I went to Alymer to visit with Hettie's mom and dad. It was a difficult visit to see him so close to death and so not himself. It was also sad to see mom a little lost and watching him. On our way home I wondered why people were flashing me (with their headlights) and we realized that I had no tail lights. None - pitch dark. So Het and I went to Canadian Tire and got a new bulb (after talking with Jeff of course to see if that could be the problem). When I asked the man at the counter if someone might be able to help he promptly said "no" and walked away. Then the announcement came over the loud speaker that the store was closing in 2 minutes (I didn't realize that it closed at 8pm in Alymer). So I asked a man putting some wiper fluid in his car if he could help. Of course, as usually happens when you need to do an outdoor repair or replace wiper blades, it was raining, windy and f...

Last week was treatment #15 & 16. It was pretty uneventful. It was my first time starting my 2 sessions in 1 day. At 6:30 Dr. B did the first treatment and 20 minutes later I was in the 'lounge' office tucked under a nice warm blanket and had just over an hour of a good sleep. I went back up at 8:45 for the second treatment. He used different needles this time (and I'm sure they were much thicker than normal) and they all hurt a bit going in (and I could still feel where they had been hours later) but it was fine. By 9:15 I was back on the road. Not really feeling any different than I have any other time, but time will tell with that too.

My treatments were pretty uneventful this week. Tuesday was a really not good day and Dr. B was teasing me about being able to take more pain (which I was so NOT able to laugh at) so I did what I always seem to do there - I cried. By the time he came back I was 'under control' and applogized and told him that I am usually quite cheerful. Thursday when I went he, he was teasing me again and I said I could take it this morning and he said he could tell. Not that it was a great day - I ended up going home right afterwards and back to bed - but I didn't cry. And that's a good thing :) Next week we're going to do 2 treatments on Thursday mornings (and not go at all on Tuesday mornings). This is simply to cut down driving time and cost of gas. I'll only have 1 morning to get up at the crack of dawn and drive out to Georgetown (and with winter coming this is also a good thing). I'll have my first appointment at 6:30 and then have to wait till 9 for my second so I c...

Friday didn't start off great and by 5pm I was laying on the couch with a pounding head thinking I would have to cancel my plans of spending the evening celebrating Kelley's birthday. I took some T3's and had a hot shower and got ready "just in case" it worked. Then headed out. We had a great time at Monty's a little place in Hespeler, that Jon had rented for the evening. It really fit 30 people (and we were about 28). We had different appetizers and lots of fun talking and laughing, eating and laughing... did I mention laughing? The best was Wilma's skiing story that she told without words (because she was laughing so hard). Oh yeah... lots of laughing. When I was driving home later that night, I realized that my head was feeling pretty good. Better than it had felt in a long time. I would say a 6 out of 10 (which is really good -for me - since most days/weeks have been a 8-9 out of 10). I was trying to remember when I last felt that good. July 27. Almost...