Eleven & Twelve
It is starting to feel like life is an old record skipping (yes... I remember what records are) and I'm just waiting for the needle to get it moving onto the rest of the song.
After the dinners for work, I know that without a doubt I will be in bed a few days. They are long days filled with lots of work (and smiling) and even though I did get a rest both days, by the end of the day I was toast... burnt toast.
Maybe I have the wrong mindset going in, but on Tuesday I didn't really expect anything. The needles all hurt, but I didn't expect that I would feel better, if anything just worse. It became a SUPER long day going to Toronto in the evening with the Oosterhof's to pick up Hettie from the airport and then needing to have a heart to heart with dear Rachel afterwards. By the time I got home I was beyond burnt toast.
I had gone to see my family doc about something else that day as well. She called me in the office (which made me a bit concerened because the nurse called everyone else in and she had this look of 'Ok don't panic' on her face) and said "Jennifer, you look terrible. The only thing worse than me saying that to you is when patients tell me I look worse than they feel". I am starting to really like my family doc. At first I was frustrated by her 'counsel' of take 4 Advils, but now that we have really gotten to know each other she is very helpful. She is all for altermative methods/medications so we talked about the acupuncture and how things are going there.
We decided that I will go back to see her in 4 weeks and if the Migraine Clinic hasn't been helpful (that will be about 20 sessions) then she'll get me to see another nuerologist. I mentioned the one that I had seen in Kitchener to which she said, 'Oh he is one of the best'. Then I told her that he referred me to someone at MacMaster who gave me Botox. She asked if it worked (Botox is covered by my insurance even though 1 vial costs 3 times as much as 2 visits for acupuncture) which I answered no, but at least I didn't look like the oldest of the girls at my sister's wedding. We had a good chuckle and then moved on to discussions of 'anti-seizure' medications that won't make me drowsy but are supposed to help with coping with the pain.
Then I got told off because of my low iron (it's 7 and should be between 12-14) and sent off with more pain meds.
This morning was off to Georgetown again. It really feels like 4:30 is getting early every time. I got to the office and 'vented' some frustration to Dr. B. He tried to be funny and say, "You're squinting when I put this needle far down in your hand so you can obviously handle more pain." followed quickly by "I'm just giving you a hard time". To which I responded (how I seem to be doing more and more) with tears and "I don't really want a hard time". Thirty minutes later he came back and we had a little chat (I said I was sorry for 'venting') and he assured me again that even though it seems worse, there is change and change is good and to be patient. One day I'll come in there with a huge smile and it will all have been worth it.
I was trying to 'hold it together' and not cry in front of the other people in the waiting room (who I'm sure were thinking 'her eyes are all red and she looks terrible... maybe I don't want to go in there). I asked the secretary for a tissue (my hand was bleeding a bit and I wanted to clean it up before I left) booked my appointments for next week and headed down the stairs. I quickly got into the car and looked into the rear view mirror to back up and to my horror I had big drops of blood running down my face, near my eye where the 1 needle had been.
Seriously... how hard would it have been to say, 'Oh by the way, you're face is bleeding too'. No wonder people were looking at me funny in the office!
But then I chuckled and drove off.
Today might not be a great day head wise, but there are still things to smile about.
After the dinners for work, I know that without a doubt I will be in bed a few days. They are long days filled with lots of work (and smiling) and even though I did get a rest both days, by the end of the day I was toast... burnt toast.
Maybe I have the wrong mindset going in, but on Tuesday I didn't really expect anything. The needles all hurt, but I didn't expect that I would feel better, if anything just worse. It became a SUPER long day going to Toronto in the evening with the Oosterhof's to pick up Hettie from the airport and then needing to have a heart to heart with dear Rachel afterwards. By the time I got home I was beyond burnt toast.
I had gone to see my family doc about something else that day as well. She called me in the office (which made me a bit concerened because the nurse called everyone else in and she had this look of 'Ok don't panic' on her face) and said "Jennifer, you look terrible. The only thing worse than me saying that to you is when patients tell me I look worse than they feel". I am starting to really like my family doc. At first I was frustrated by her 'counsel' of take 4 Advils, but now that we have really gotten to know each other she is very helpful. She is all for altermative methods/medications so we talked about the acupuncture and how things are going there.
We decided that I will go back to see her in 4 weeks and if the Migraine Clinic hasn't been helpful (that will be about 20 sessions) then she'll get me to see another nuerologist. I mentioned the one that I had seen in Kitchener to which she said, 'Oh he is one of the best'. Then I told her that he referred me to someone at MacMaster who gave me Botox. She asked if it worked (Botox is covered by my insurance even though 1 vial costs 3 times as much as 2 visits for acupuncture) which I answered no, but at least I didn't look like the oldest of the girls at my sister's wedding. We had a good chuckle and then moved on to discussions of 'anti-seizure' medications that won't make me drowsy but are supposed to help with coping with the pain.
Then I got told off because of my low iron (it's 7 and should be between 12-14) and sent off with more pain meds.
This morning was off to Georgetown again. It really feels like 4:30 is getting early every time. I got to the office and 'vented' some frustration to Dr. B. He tried to be funny and say, "You're squinting when I put this needle far down in your hand so you can obviously handle more pain." followed quickly by "I'm just giving you a hard time". To which I responded (how I seem to be doing more and more) with tears and "I don't really want a hard time". Thirty minutes later he came back and we had a little chat (I said I was sorry for 'venting') and he assured me again that even though it seems worse, there is change and change is good and to be patient. One day I'll come in there with a huge smile and it will all have been worth it.
I was trying to 'hold it together' and not cry in front of the other people in the waiting room (who I'm sure were thinking 'her eyes are all red and she looks terrible... maybe I don't want to go in there). I asked the secretary for a tissue (my hand was bleeding a bit and I wanted to clean it up before I left) booked my appointments for next week and headed down the stairs. I quickly got into the car and looked into the rear view mirror to back up and to my horror I had big drops of blood running down my face, near my eye where the 1 needle had been.
Seriously... how hard would it have been to say, 'Oh by the way, you're face is bleeding too'. No wonder people were looking at me funny in the office!
But then I chuckled and drove off.
Today might not be a great day head wise, but there are still things to smile about.
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